Portals, Kimchi, Death, and Rebirth

A little heavy-handed but wow it's been a year

I hope this new year finds you well and satisfied—but if not that is okay too. As I’m writing this it is the dregs of 2022 and I am deep in reflection and gratitude mode. BelowI have an exciting announcement about in-person mini-retreats, a short reflection on the year, a simple and warming recipe for Hearty Kimchi Soup, an argument for thinking about death more, and finally a little video about re-framing budgeting as a kindness we give to ourselves (please follow me on TikTok!). Thank you for being here with me. I am so grateful. Here’s to getting to know each other better in 2023—please reach out any time. I love hearing from you.

In-Person Mini Retreat

I am hosting an in-person mini yoga/meditation and embodied cooking retreat on Saturday, January 28th at my home in Park Slope, Brooklyn. For anyone local to the tri-state area, please consider joining, or telling a friend, I cannot wait to meet you! There is nothing like breathing and releasing and connecting in person. Please click the link for more info, and make sure you reserve a spot if interested, as I only have room for eight participants in this upcoming retreat.

We start with restorative yoga and breathing exercises, then transition into relaxation while I cook a healthy lunch and share the embodied cooking practice. We eat lunch and enjoy guided discussion, then finally we end with a breathing and meditation session to send us floating out into the rest of our weekend feeling connected and rejuvenated. It’s such a special experience, that I believe all of us in our busy and stress-filled lives truly need to make us healthier, more fulfilled, better partners, parents and friends. I feel like a million bucks after hosting!

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My 2022 in Review

This year has been a doozy for me personally. It started with the release of Good Enough, on my Dad’s birthday; made all the more poignant because of his ailing health and awareness he will not be with us much longer. In April, a trip back home to Edmonton to be with Dad shook me to my core. I separated from my husband and relationship of 19 years in the mid-summer. In late summer I began to rebuild my life in a new apartment. Then my daughter started kindergarten as we were working out the rhythms of this new life. Each of these experiences has felt like a portal to another world.

All the while I have been trying to recapture the momentum of my career. Sure, I started this newsletter, and then later, the Embodied Cooking Club on Patreon, but it also didn’t feel like much. I long to share with you what I know about the magic and healing of cooking—and I’m accepting that figuring out how to do that effectively is a process. I have been deep in study of yoga and meditation to bolster my expression and technique, so I can really share this magic with you. The career stuff has felt very stop and start, and I admit I have felt scared, incompetent and at times hopeless about it. How can I connect with you all as I long to?

But you know what? Every time I have felt hopeless and alone someone, or many someones have shown up for me. I have felt held at every moment even when I also felt deeply alone and scared. If I would look up at what is happening right now, I could see that I am not, nor have I ever been, alone. This is why I am so deeply committed to sharing practices that bring us back to right now, like I do in our embodied cooking classes - check out the sample class below!

Now is the only place where we learn to differentiate ourselves from our past patterns. Now is real.

So thank you, every single one of you reading this mean so much to me. Thank you for reaching out, liking something I wrote, sharing your experience or just a thought. It has been the encouragement I needed to keep going. Please keep doing it. If you ever have anything to share, or something you want, know that I and the other people in this community will benefit from you speaking up. Even just a “hey, more stuff for kids, please!” is amazingly helpful.

Here’s hoping for some more big moves and chances to connect and heal together this year. I am learning to go slow, that healing is not a destination, and that the people around me are my greatest asset, and I don’t take any of it for granted. I am so grateful.

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Hearty Kimchi Soup

My gift to you for these winter months where we are drawn to warm and hearty foods, while also eternally feeling the lack of vegetables. This soup does it all. Satisfies the need for robust warmth (and spice!) while still feeling light through your digestive system. It also happens to be fast and simple, which is always important to lighten our mental load. I will be making this on repeat for the winter months.

Hearty Kimchi Soup

Serves 2 to 3

TL;DR: Sauté the onion and kimchi in a pan, add the tofu, cover with water and simmer for 20 minutes before adding snap peas and soy sauce to taste.

1-2 Tbsp olive oil
1 red onion, chopped into half moons
18-12 oz kimchi, finely chopped
1 block firm tofu (12.5-14 oz), cut into bite-sized pieces
8 oz snap peas, chopped
Tamari or soy sauce, to taste

Heat the olive oil in a pot on medium heat. Add the onion and kimchi and let it sauté for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Tumble in the tofu and mix it up, then let it cook for a 3 more minutes.

Pour in 4-5 cups of water and turn up the heat to bring the mixture to a simmer. Once simmering turn the heat down and simmer for 20 minutes.

Add the snap peas and let cook for 2 minutes. Taste and add Tamari or soy sauce to taste.

Serve! This soup could be enjoyed with some ground meat added with the onion at the beginning, heartier vegetables like sweet potato or a handful of greens to finish it off. With something so simple there are infinite possibilities.

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Endings and New Beginnings

I’ve been spending a lot of time in Greenwood Cemetery here in South Brooklyn. This summer’s move puts me within reasonable walking distance and the peace, open space and views draw me in. But more than that I like being with the dead.

Strange to learn this about yourself at the age of 37. I like being around the reality of death. It is liberating at every level. I feel it in my cells as they dance with freedom and my heart as it strains and opens to the truth. We do not live forever and that is okay.

Meditating on death and being around death makes me feel more alive. Crucially, it also makes me feel honest, like I am not pretending or avoiding the parts of life I don’t like. Accepting that death is a part of life is an essential part of the process of embodiment in my lived experience. And by embodiment I mean embracing all of who we are, our bodies, our histories and our evolution rather than simply who society and authority figures tell us we should be. Embodiment means proudly allowing ourselves to be dark, light and ever-changing.

What has been your experience with death? Is it something hidden or something you feel is okay to talk about? Do you have any stories or resources to share? Reply to this email with any thoughts, I respond to every email I receive!

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Empowered Food Budgeting

@leannebrown06Budgeting can be hard and scary! Give yourself the love and support you need.⁣ ⁣ Budgeting is a really kind choice you can make for yourself to adapt to changing circumstances. It means you taking control where you can. And the energy you need to do the hard work of adapting, flows from that place of loyal support for yourself.

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