Love and Chaos in Transition
Love and Chaos in Transition
Summer has definitely been off to a chaotic start. Our June was marked with a lot of travel, visitors and big moments—then we capped it off by finally getting Covid. Here’s hoping July is a bit more stable, but I’m not so sure.
I was particularly humbled by my daughter Io’s preschool graduation. I knew it was going to be an emotional experience, but I was not prepared. We have been at the school for three years, two and a half of which occurred during a pandemic. I feel so bonded and in love with the teachers and community of the school—it’s so clear how lucky we have been to be held by this devoted, safe community.
I volunteered to coordinate the food for the graduation ceremony. Just a simple catering order of rainbow bagels and fruit. I’m supposed to be a food expert so I figured I had this, right? Well, on the morning of the ceremony I realized I had made a mistake on the timing—we needed the order for 11 am instead of noon. The ceremony was supposed to be outside, but rain meant it had to be moved. I went to the bagel place to try to work my charms and have our order moved up and change the delivery address, but there was not much they could do at the last minute.
I walked up to the school feeling guilty and ineffectual but also completely ready to just own my mistakes and apologize to the crew of hungry parents and kids I was going to keep waiting for their snacks. It was funny to be in a mindset where that kind of embarrassment doesn’t frighten me. However, when I got there and explained, no one would let me take the blame. It was a team effort and we would deal with this small issue as a team.
The ceremony was as adorable and wild as you would expect multiple classes of three- to five-year-olds performing songs and dances to be. And of course the timing turned out differently and the ceremony ended earlier even than expected—much to my horror. Once my daughter got off stage, I ran with a couple of other parents to the bagel place to see what we could do to get our food earlier.
Approximately 30 minutes of waiting, cajoling, compromising, and worrying later, I was walking quickly back to the school with food in hand, when I ran into my sister (who was visiting from Canada) and other parents walking away from the school. She told me Io is at home with her Dad because she lost her first tooth in epic, sudden style and was devastated and frightened and had to go home. AND I MISSED IT.
I delivered the food, spoke to everyone I could, and rushed home to be with Io. Her two front teeth had been loose for literal years after a couple of playground and scooting accidents. She had gotten used to being careful with them rather than wiggling them and allowing them to fall out. So when she ran up to her Dad and lost her tooth right in his lap, for her it was a serious shock. For the grownups around, it was a beautiful and amazing moment of transition. The grownups were exclaiming excitedly, while Io was afraid and shocked. The incident became what we call a “small t” trauma—she felt alone and misunderstood in her moment of need. She went deep inside her body and didn’t want to talk about the tooth. We worked through it over the next few days, giving space, playing with dramatic reenactments, tooth-fairy visits, and generally following her lead about how and when to address it.
And you know what, I felt really guilty that I missed the moment. But, just like the bagels, blaming myself is absurd. These kinds of experiences are part of a full life. Sometimes you can be right there for those you love, and sometimes you can’t be. But you can always repair. And those moments of repair are so powerful, they create resilience for you, for the other person, and for the relationship. As I look at the situation from a distance, I can only be grateful, and laugh about how it all went down.
There is so much love in chaos. I used to see things in black and white, good or bad. A few years ago, I would have thought this day was a disaster—but now I see it as one of the most beautiful, layered, and magnificent examples of LIFE. It’s almost too poetic to lose your first tooth on graduation day. I’m so grateful for that awareness and to see life as it is. Beautiful and messy and real and not just good or bad.
Deconstructed Falafels
makes 2 bowls
A summery lunch that is a bit more elevated than a chickpea salad, but not much more fuss.
TL;DR: Fry the chickpeas and pita with cumin. Toss with scallions and herbs, then top with cucumber and tomato, and drizzle with yogurt and tahini.
1/4 cup canola oil
1 can (15.5 oz) chickpeas
½ to 1 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1 small pita or piece of bread, torn or chopped into small pieces
2 scallions
handful of mint leaves, stems removed, roughly chopped
handful of cilantro or parsley, roughly chopped
1/4 english cucumber, diced
1 tomato, diced
2 tablespoons yogurt (1 per bowl)
2 teaspoons tahini (1 per bowl)
Optional: sprinkling of za’atar
Optional: peaches
Optional: schug or other green hot sauce
Warm the canola oil in medium skillet over medium heat. Add the chickpeas, salt and cumin and stir. Fry until light brown, shaking the skillet occasionally, about 7 to 10 minutes. Add the pita pieces and fry for another 3 to 4 minutes. Remove the chickpea-pita mixture to a bowl. Add the scallions, mint, and cilantro so the heat of the fried stuff wakes up the herbs and scallions and stir to coat.
To serve, divide the mixture into two bowls. Top with cucumber and tomato. Drizzle each bowl with 1 tablespoon of yogurt and 1 tablespoon of tahini. Sprinkle with za’atar, peaches or other schug if using.
UPDATE on Embodied Cooking Classes…
I’m a little behind on launching the Cooking Club I teased last month but I do hope to announce it shortly, so stay tuned!
It will be hosted on Patreon, and will be just $5/month for weekly livestreamed Embodied Cooking Classes of 40 to 60 minutes, which you can watch live or at your leisure. They will be unlike any other cooking class you have seen before. They will be slow and relaxed and focused on the sensory experience of cooking. I’m so excited to get going on these!
Self Care and Sunshine
Times continue to be absurdly tough at a macro and micro level. The news never stops and neither does life. We can only move through it.
For July, I want to encourage you to not only eat juicy and fresh, hydrating foods but also to spend some time in the sun. Not necessarily the direct sun—do what you need to for your skin and comfort! But let yourself simply be with the sun, how good it feels to be warm and how it makes your body feel nourished. Breathe it in and allow your mind to slow down and thoughts to slip away.
Lately after a meditation session in the sun, I find myself gaining a new perspective on life or work challenges. It’s not about thinking my way to it, it’s about trusting and simply allowing the truth to come through in the sun’s gentle rays.
Wishing you a calm and nourishing July!